WHEN THE ONLY PEOPLE LEFT IN THE RESTAURANT LEFT ARE MYSELF, MY MANAGER, A DISHWASHER, AND MY TABLE THAT REFUSES TO LEAVE 

iamaserver:


HOW MY ATTITUDE AND VOICE CHANGE WHEN I’M GREETING OR TALKING TO A TABLE 

iamaserver:

WHEN I’M TALKING TO MY TABLE:

WHEN I WALK INTO THE KITCHEN:


AS I’M WALKING INTO MY SHIFT AT WORK 

iamaserver:


THE START OF THE WEEKEND 

iamaserver:

MOST PEOPLE:

image

ME:

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  • dudes: "all men watch porn just get used to it"
  • dudes: "men just have stronger sex drives than women, its just biology"
  • dudes: "we can't help objectifying women, its in our dna"
  • feminists: "rape happens a lot in our society and most are perpetrated by men, towards women, and i can't tell the difference between safe men and dangerous men just by looking so i tend to be wary of men sometimes"
  • dudes: "NOW WAIT JUST A FUCKIN SECOND HOW CAN YOU GENERALIZE ALL MEN THATS SO UNFAIR"

thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

im sorry rosie youve been a good friend

thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

im sorry rosie youve been a good friend


bearfluff:

i can’t wait until october when there’s no sun outside and everything is cute colors and it’s cold and there are terrible horror movies on tv, my power is at its peak then


sassiestnugget:

so thats what that means

sassiestnugget:

so thats what that means


blameaspartame:

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood …"

blameaspartame:

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood …"


who keeps making Step Up movies and why 


knightscrest:

officialnasa:

knightscrest:

knightscrest:

how do astronauts say they’re sorry?

they apollo-gize!!

We dont apologize.

we are perfect.

nasa i know of at least 2 exploded spaceships that beg to differ


lanashiftdelrey:

coming out of your room at 3 am and seeing your parents

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givingaway:

A CUSTOMER CAME INTO THE STORE WITH THIS BEAUTY TODAY AND I SQUEALED A LOT


phoenix-falls:

malformalady:

Wisconsin snow storm versus flooding in Ireland

Ireland isn’t fucking around with the sealing capabilities of their doors

phoenix-falls:

malformalady:

Wisconsin snow storm versus flooding in Ireland

Ireland isn’t fucking around with the sealing capabilities of their doors