opinions on abortions are kinda like nipples
everyone has them but women’s are a little bit more relevant
But all you ever see are men’s
How to open a beer with a banana
well its open
So I was writing a small paper in Microsoft Word and the program suddenly crashed (I saved a couple minutes before, thank god) and I get this message in the corner of my screen two seconds afterward
what the fuck
Why do adults think “So what’s your major? Oh, and what are you going to do with that?” is acceptable small talk
What am I going to do with my degree? Hang it on the wall and cry, probably
do vampires just use their teeth to make a puncture wound and then suck, or are their fangs like a straw
i havent slept in three days
so one time when i was in 8th grade my school went on a camping trip at this camp and at night we all went around the campfire and told stories
and one of the instructors pointed up at the hill where a bunch of deer had gathered. he explained that baby deer make certain noises to call their mothers over. he said if we were really quiet we could hear them
suddenly this huge black guy came out from the forest and yelled YO MAMA WHERE YOU AT
I AM DYING OH MY GOD
Dentist: do you smoke?
Me: why you Tryna light up?
Liz Climo on Tumblr.